i am not a writer but the need to express my thoughts are persistent ... although i wonder why would anyone stop to read this .. my thoughts pouring on this screen .. if i was to pick the color of my soul id say it cannot be a pretty color ,definitely nothing like pink ..
arent we just merely pools of blood , flesh and bones .. i am most faithful to my soul , id rather break my heart but not do injustice to myself .. forlorn tears doesn't really mean one is crying .. it was just a twist of fate that it was me and not you .. anyways , its more pleasant if you can ask why me if something good happens .. everyone;s comfortably confused , not like we live in the most sane world .. innocence .. i needed it but was deprived of it much sooner than i deserved .. things that were beyond my control .. there are things that u cannot escape from and yet you do not wanna live with .. its just the way it was supposed to be .. not everyone gets what they deserve .. it would be pathetic to hate oneself for it ..

ur there sumwhere
cud dig deep and find u there
cannot pretend u didnt happen
besides im not a pretender
pieces of heaven , ounces of happiness , u were
never claimed u
u were always free to leave
my world , u were from head t toe
worst addiction , u drained me
how i adored u
ur arms fit around like destiny
loved breathing u in
how i loved the person u were
how i loved the person i thought u were
how i love ur thought
how i love how it felt
how i do not want it at all , anymore
how u became jus a thought
a thought that comes
a thought i dismiss
a thought that haunts
a thought thats not needed
a thought that breaks
a thought that aches
a thought thats not welcome
a thought thats unwanted
still a thought that wont stop

i only know the selfish kind of love ... u love a person cause they make u feel good, u like what they say , specially about u , u like their touch , u like being around them , its all about u , u love a person cause they make u feel special, needed, wanted, cared and all that bundle .. so u love a person for very selfish reasons ..
same with ur children, u love them cause they are urs and u accept them the way they are .. again selfishly
sum love regardless of how they are treated back .. to me i think its the hope of having back what they think they felt at a certain point .. sum love the illusion of what they think it was or how special it was ,some dont get to find out how it might actually turn out but they assume it would have been great and they are always in love with that thought
love most of the time is a reason u give to make ur life meaningful , longing for a lost love , longing for a person who needs you , who cares for you and all that ..
i believe we are on our own end of the day .. we take responsibility for our actions , noones there to save ur asses in the end . Its nice to be with sumone who respects you , treats u nice and u can have a good orgasm with ..